I’m getting ready to take a big trip in the fall, and as I was working on preparations today it occurred to me that it’s been a while since this blog said anything about advance care planning.
When it comes to making an advance care plan, a lot of people think it’s something you do once and then it’s finished. It’s easy to get into the mindset of feeling like, “Well, that’s taken care of, so I never have to worry about it again.” The truth is, your advance care plan is something you should be revisiting at least every couple of years, and especially when major changes take place in your life. Marriage, divorce, moving to a new place, kids growing older and having different needs and eventually their own children—these are the kinds of events that may not immediately cause you to think ahead to the end of your life, but they alter the shape of your life in ways that often require adjustments to the plan.
As doulas, advance care planning is a great service to offer, because it allows you to find clients and build relationships with them while they are still healthy and happy. The hard part about it is actually sitting down with them (or yourself!) and getting it done. People see the value in doing it; as Alua Arthur likes to say, “This is an event that probably won’t happen soon, but it will definitely happen someday, and that day might be tomorrow. Don’t you think you should be prepared?”
Nearly everyone agrees with this logic, but it’s still easy to procrastinate as long as death feels like it’s a very far way off. So as a doula, you need to be firm. Once someone agrees that they need an advance care plan (and your services in putting one together), make an appointment right away, and make sure you keep it! Make sure you know a notary, or a good place to send your client for notary services. If you can’t get everything done in one sitting, it might be good to work with the client to set a deadline for when the plan needs to be finished, otherwise it might get set to one side and not picked up again. And once you do have a plan in place, you’ll want to keep your client’s information so you can check back with them in the future—they might remember to call you if things happen that would change their plans, but neither of you should count on it.
In some ways it can be harder to make a plan well in advance. When there’s no urgency it doesn’t always feel like a top priority. But it’s so much better to get that plan made before it becomes urgent, when everyone is in a relatively healthy state of mind and able to make thoughtful decisions in a way that isn’t rushed. Knowing you can change your mind at any time is also a big help. Having a plan before you need it means all you have to do is put it into action when the time comes, instead of having to decide everything on the fly, under pressure.
IDLM’s next Life Planning course for advanced care plans begins on August 12 and will be taught by our own fabulous Pam Carter. I think I might hop in to dust off my knowledge, so hopefully I’ll be seeing you there!
