My mother used to tell me a story of a farmer (we’ll call him Zeke) who was known by all his neighbors for being especially fastidious about locking down all his equipment and livestock at the end of each day. Nothing was allowed to be left out overnight, everything went back in its proper place no matter what. Animals were safely secured inside their barn, coop, or paddock, the doors securely locked and bolted before any of the farm workers were allowed to call it a night.
If anyone asked him why he was always so careful, he simply said, “I like to sleep when the wind blows.”
No one could fault Zeke for his high standards, but it did mean he was doing extra work nearly every night. Why not relax a little? his neighbors asked him. Leave tomorrow’s tools where you can conveniently pick them up, instead of locking them away. Let the cows graze overnight when it isn’t cold out. Save yourself some trouble.
“I don’t do that,” said Zeke, “because I like to sleep when the wind blows.”
“If you say so.” His neighbors shrugged. They didn’t know what he was talking about, but he was allowed to run his farm however he wanted.
And sure enough, one night a sudden storm blew up across the county and caught everyone by surprise. All the farmers in the county found themselves out in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain, gathering up tools, chasing frightened animals, and praying nothing would be lost because they hadn’t gotten there in time. All the farmers, that is, except for Zeke, who stayed warm and dry in his own bed. He wasn’t worried about missing tools; he counted them all every night and knew exactly where each one was. He wasn’t worried about runaway animals; he knew they were safe and snug in the barn because that was his nightly routine.
Zeke was prepared for the storm, because Zeke was always prepared for a storm. He liked to sleep when the wind blew.
As death doulas, we can think of that sudden storm as a metaphor for the troubles our clients go through when they or their loved one comes to the end of their life. We can help them (and ourselves) prepare for the “storm” by putting together a good advance care plan, making sure it is checked regularly so it is up to date and ready to go when the time comes.
We can also go a step farther than Zeke, by staying prepared for the things we knowour clients probably won’t be prepared for—the long hours of waiting during a bedside vigil, the unexpected medical or physical needs that may arise during a person’s last days or hours. Keeping your doula bag well-stocked and ready to go at a moment’s notice will mean that a moment is all you need when someone calls to ask for help.
It is always wise to be prepared for an emergency, especially when there is so much happening in the world and it seems like there are emergencies all around us, all the time. As doulas, we have chosen a special calling to be of service, and now is no time to be caught off guard. You may need to help people in the ways you’ve planned and trained for, or your doula skills might turn out to be useful for providing other types of necessary support. You know what you have the capacity to handle. And as long as you make sure you stay prepared, in the meantime you can sleep when the wind blows.
