When it comes to helping clients and families through the end of life process, whether you’re just planning or assisting someone who is in active transition, the most difficult part of the process can often be just opening the conversation. Getting people to talk about death and dying isn’t always easy, especially when it’s a real conversation about their own death or the death of someone they love.
Fortunately, here at IDLM we spend a lot of time thinking about good ways to handle this type of problem, and we like to partner up with folks who can help us do it! One of our favorite tools for getting people to think about death and how to plan for it is the Death Deck, a clear, thoughtful, and sometimes even fun set of questions designed to help people consider their feelings about death and dying. The questions range from the practical (in your final days, what kinds of smells would you like to have in the atmosphere?) to the philosophical (if you had the chance to live forever, would you take it?). Nearly everyone working with the Death Deck for the first time will find a question they have never even considered before. And if things go really well, the conversations that the Death Deck opens up will leave people more open to further conversation, and less afraid to talk about death in general.
The Death Deck was designed by writer and enterpreneur Lori LoCicero and hospice social worker Lisa Pahl. Lisa, in particular, has been affiliated with IDLM for some time. We have been lucky enough to hear her speak at our Continuing Education (CE) Events and at our Tree of Life Conference, and we are always impressed at the wisdom, compassion, and positivity she brings to any conversation about end of life. From the bio on her website:
My goal is to help people cope with illness, dying and grief. With a passionate belief that peace at the end begins with meaningful conversations over time, I feel the more we can engage in talking about this difficult subject, the more prepared and ultimately comforted we will be when we reach the end of life.
You can learn more about Lisa Pahl, her business partner Lori, and the Death Deck in general at their website, thedeathdeck.com. Follow them on social media (@thedeathdeck) for sample cards and questions and to find out more aout what they’re up to!
And if you’re looking for more ways to explore end of life work, don’t forget our annual Birthday Bash begins on Monday, January 6. We will be hosting different workshops every single night of the week and it’s absolutely free to sign up, so come join us and connect with the community. Whether you’re a current student, an IDLM grad, or just doula-curious, we would love to see you there!
