Last month, a woman named Linda Murphy went viral online by doing something nearly anyone could do but almost nobody does—she wrote and published her own obituary.
As you might be able to guess from just that one fact, Murphy was more prepared for her death than most people. She died of bulbar ALS, which is a tragic and terrible disease, but also gave her time to make sure all her affairs were in order and would be carried out exactly the way she wanted them to be. You can read her story here.
It isn’t uncommon for someone’s obituary to be written before they die. For decades, newspapers have kept files of ready-to-go obituaries for celebrities and other notable people, even those who are young and healthy, because people who run newspapers know, just like we all do, that everyone will die someday. Sometimes we get a pretty fair warning ahead of time, and sometimes it comes as a surprise, but it always comes. It is worth considering, if someone were to die today, how they would be remembered—and while they’re still alive, you can always go back in and make edits.
Linda Murphy had a lot of courage and a great sense of humor, and she drew upon those qualities to do something every single one of us ought to do, which was to prepare for the end. Not all of us get a heads up that death will be coming for us soon, but we do know it’s going to get us eventually. So if you died tomorrow, how would you want to be remembered? Would you want someone else writing your obituary for you, or would you want to tell your own story?
As part of doula training with IDLM, we practice writing an obituary. As Linda Murphy shows us, this can be more than just the bare facts; it can be an opportunity to really tell your own or someone else’s story one last time, to put one last stamp on people’s memories and connect for a final time. Obituaries are a key piece of legacy work and something every doula should be familiar with, even if it doesn’t end up being a regular part of your services.
Come check in one the Movement and share your thoughts. What are some of the most original, funny, or touching obituaries you have ever read? What do you want your own obituary to look like? Let us know, and maybe get some inspiration from your IDLM colleagues!
