Death Positive: The Death Talk You Didn’t Know You Needed
As doulas, the first and most important part of our job often is simply to open up the conversation, to help people feel safe communicating their thoughts, questions, and concerns about death to each other.
Not Dead Yet
Don’t let yourself start making the mistake of thinking of terminal patients only in terms of their illness. Instead, keep looking at the mother/father/grandparent/brother/sister/beloved friend who is still there with you, living and breathing, ready to talk about the things they care about, everything they have done in their life, and even the things they still want to do. Maybe you can help them do those things! There is still time.
Barbara Karnes
A pioneer of the hospice movement, Ms Karnes has won multiple awards as an End of Life Educator and the author of a number of educational booklets on death and dying which are invaluable for anyone who has lost or is in the process of losing a loved one, and essential for everyone working in end of life work. This week we are honored to spotlight Ms Karnes for our blog, in her own words.
The Jaws Effect
Within the doula and death positive community we spend a lot of time talking about how to open conversations about death, and how important it is to do that. In this week’s blog we’re going to discuss why it is so important to make the effort and have these conversations in the first place.
Spring Flowers
The delicate and fragile beauty of flowers reminds us of the delicate and fragile beauty of life. We cherish them because they look and smell lovely, but also because they don’t last forever, and that makes them all the more valuable.
Death Themed Gatherings
Death is an infinitely large topic. None of us will ever know everything there is to know—it’s impossible. But the cool thing about that is that everyone knows something no one else does. The more we get together and share, the more it will increase everybody’s knowledge.
Difficult Clients
Your job is to meet your client where they are, mentally and emotionally. Be ready to set boundaries if necessary about behaviors that are intolerable, but otherwise, show up with compassion, patience, and a thick skin.
We Love Pet Doulas
One of the most personal forms of grief can come from the loss of a pet. Our relationships with our pets are special: yes, we love them because they are cute and funny, but we also love them because they are ours.
Filling The Gaps
As a doula, you should be paying close attention to what is going on with your client families as the patient goes through their transition. The concerns they have can only be addressed if someone knows what those concerns are.
Starting The Conversation
Some cultures talk about how everyone needs a “third place” in their life. Home is your first place, work is the second. Your third place might be a local bar, an intramural baseball team, a book club, or a quilting circle.
