A friend of mine likes to regularly remind me that when he dies he wants his remains shot into space. He says it with humor because he knows it’s a silly thing to say, but he is serious about it. The two of us have even done some research together on options and pricing (for example, he wants to be shot into deep space, which costs nearly three times as much as just going into earth orbit).
I don’t know yet whether my friend will ever decide to shell out the big bucks for his post-mortem space voyage, but he isn’t alone in wanting to make a plan for what should happen to his body when he dies. Lots of people have strong feelings about what might happen to their remains, and whether these feelings come from a sense of anxiety, pragmatism, or sentimentality, they are real and they deserve to be honored. As doulas, this is a question we should be discussing with all our clients.
It’s important to be aware of as many options as possible, in order to keep clients informed—the perfect choice for them might be something they haven’t heard of yet! So here is a quick list of possibilities to consider, from the traditional to the… less traditional.
Traditional burial can be exactly what it sounds like—pick a grave plot, pay the funeral home, you’re done. But there are details to consider. Do arrangements need to be made for a specific location, such as a cemetery in another city or state, or a military cemetery? Does the person want traditional embalming and all the works, or green burial, which is only available in certain locations and may need to be arranged for beforehand?
Cremation is becoming more and more popular and may by now be the most common means of body disposal worldwide. Cremated remains offer a number of further memorial possibilities that might be seen as whimsical or macabre or both—ashes scattered at sea or in some other significant place (or shot into space!), compressed into stones or glass to make jewelry, mixed into ink for tattoos or paint for other artwork. Some of these options are available for pets as well as people.
Body donation can help the dying person or their family feel like they are making a difference even after they’re dead. The majority of these donations go to medical schools, but there are also body farms that study decomposition for forensic crime solving and even archaeological purposes. While all facilities are grateful to receive cadavers to further their research, due to space and other accommodations body donation is something that must be arranged well in advance.
Aquamation/water cremation is a recent innovation in which the body is broken down in a hot alkaline water solution rather than being burned. The results leave you with “ashes” that are extremely similar to regular cremated remains (and give you all the same options re: scattering or making into jewelry), but many people view the aquamation process as being more environmentally friendly than standard cremation, which is appealing to many clients.
Body composting is a very new option in which the body is reduced to literal compost over the course of a few months, and then can be collected by the family of the deceased and deposited wherever they choose—in a local forest or park, or in their own personal garden. Traditional cremains (from fire or water) can also be scattered in a garden, but they actually do not contain any nutrients that help plants grow. The results of body composting actually do help fertilize the soil, so are especially eco-friendly! Unfortunately this option is only available in a couple of US states so far.
This list is only the beginning and I could write a full post or more on each of these options (and maybe I will in the future)! But since I’m out of space for this week, let this be your starting point, and remember you can always bring any questions you have to your friends in the Movement. See you there!
